Admit it, some family members are just big connivers and we, like jerks, allow ourselves to be drawn into their shenanigans. Isn’t it wonderful that we’re so spineless that we reap the benefits of our own stupidity?
We call my sister Mary Paula (MP) the big M for manipulator, because she can talk anybody into anything. She keeps our entire family in a perpetual state of motion, and when she’s not around, we all flush our pep pills and high blood pressure medicine right down the toilet because the activity level is well, level. But after a while, things become stagnant and we need our ‘fix’ — her.
A few years ago she was visiting this area from Houston. It was when Mom and Dad still lived here, but she talked them into moving to Texas. See what I mean about her persuasive powers.
Well, on the morning she was scheduled to fly out she asked me to ride with her and Mom to the airport. How I wish I could say that I slipped into a cute little number, but the truth is, I stuffed myself into a pair of stretch jeans with the elastic waistband and I threw on a shirt that puckered across the bust line.
Darn that pasta, it’s my nemesis for not having an irresistible figure. I’m telling you all this to set the stage for what some men might consider reasons for a divorce. Insecure men, that is, God love ‘em.
With about $4 in my pocket and ill-fitting clothes, the three of us headed for what I thought was the airport. How foolish and naïve of me to think that someone with a plane ticket would actually be flying to their destination. But Mom and I were traveling with the big M, we should have suspected something. Excitedly Mary turned to me.
“Hey Karen, why don’t you fly back with me to Houston. I’ll just put your ticket on my charge card and tomorrow night we can be at the Lovin’ concert.”
We turned toward Mom who looked like one of those rejects who are always picked last for their school’s sports team.
“Gee Mom, I didn’t ask you because ... hey Ma, wanna come, too? We could all just drive there and…”
‘Hot rod Mamma’ revved the engine and we whizzed right passed the airport — so help me God we did. Southwest, that’s the direction we were heading when it should have been the airlines that Mary was boarding. With no clothes or money, but with MP’s luggage and charge card, we should worry. We should have been frantic because there were two dreaded phone calls to make — to our husbands.
Mom has always been a stellar example to her children, stressing integrity, but we decided we needed to concoct a fairly believable story to explain why we wouldn’t be home for supper — for two weeks at least.
In Erie, Mom phoned Dad while I phoned my husband.
“Shel,” Mom said with a straight face.”
“Honey,” I said on the other phone.
“We’re in Columbus, Ohio,” lied Mom.
“Columbus, Ohio,” I echoed.
If we had said Erie the men would have insisted we turn the car around, we were still so close to home, but my model mother continued.
“Shel, just before Mary was to board the plane it was experiencing mechanical problems. I just knew you’d never forgive me if I had allow her to get on so we’re driving her to Houston.”
No wonder Mom has lost her hearing in her right ear, the way Dad yelled.
(To be continued)
Karen White-Walker is a Wilson resident.
Columns
WHITE-WALKER: We called, somewhere along the way
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GLYNN: VFW post keeps spirit alive
At one time, members of the Veterans of Foreign Wars-Post 313 would march down Main Street in Youngstown on Memorial Day to the 1812 Cemetery near Old Fort Niagara. That same scenario out of the past occurred for decades in cities, towns and villages across the U.S.
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HAMILTON: Dandelions, parades, broken poles and people
There are still those remnants of the fading bouquets of floral tributes that still hang at that base of a tree on city hall’s lawn. It is near where, last year, from his shiny silvery cart, Melvin Johnson sold hot dogs and sausages to both city employees and passerbys while his tiny white dog excitingly yelped at anyone that came near.
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GLYNN: Gillibrand seeks help for prime bread-winners
A recent report shows that working mothers across the Empire State earn nearly 15 percent lower pay for the same work as men.
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BRADBERRY: There really are spirits in the water
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CONFER: The reality of rationed health care
The ongoing debate over Obamacare has brought to light the concept of rationed healthcare. Opponents of health care reform keenly point out that while the bill never explicitly calls out rationing, it features certain provisions that will lead the markets to adjust to strict federal demands and, therefore, dispense certain procedures in smaller amounts or not at all. Because of it being the first time that the subject has really come up in public circles, most people, especially on the right, believe that rationing is something new. It’s not. The free markets have been practicing that for quite some time. I should know; with a 4-inch long, 1-inch wide scar running south of my belly button – and a couple of related scars around my groin – I could be the poster child for rationed health care.
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CITY DESK: A regrettable error
We owe Carol Sensabough an apology.
Several weeks ago, the long-time reader and Niagara Falls resident sent a letter to the editor explaining that she took offense to some of the things written by a syndicated columnist, Stephen Dick. -
HIGGS: Niagara Falls' own West Side story
Trusello’s Bakery was on Elmwood behind the family home at 840 19th St. The family, Richard, William (Billy) and Sam along with two sisters, lived in the house.
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GLYNN: Falls, Ont., rolls out red carpet for Wallenda
Before Nik Wallenda even started practicing his high-wire routine in downtown Niagara Falls, state Sen.George D. Maziarz, R-Newfane, had noted the warm welcome the tightrope walker received across the river.
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HAMILTON: Civic ‘ParticipAction’ can work too
Back in the 1970s, our Neighbors to the North ran a national campaign called ParticipAction to encourage Canadians to get off their butts and do things for the sakes of their bodies.
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