DORIS JONES: Giving girls something to talk about

By Leslie Church

The Doris W. Jones Family Resource Building was alive with the chatter of hundreds of teenage girls, but the conversations didn’t center on boys or brand-new outfits.

The third annual “Let’s Talk” Conference brought together over 200 young women from Niagara Falls high school, Gaskill and LaSalle Preparatory, and BOCES to voice their thoughts on everything from relationships to relaxation and finances.

“Young ladies need so much, and they need that reinforcement that they are special, that people do care about them and that they’re important,” said Annie Fields-Chapman, general manager at the resource building and a member of the program’s committee.

Nine workshops were available to choose from, each offering a unique topic presented by a community expert. Planned Parenthood of Western New York gave a talk on positive relationships: “Having ’em, Keeping ’em & Loving ’em,” while in another classroom the Niagara Falls Housing Authority hosted a talk on financial literacy.

“We want them to be all that they can be, and give them the tools in order to become mature responsible adults,” Fields-Chapman said.

The conference, sponsored by the Housing Authority, Planned Parenthood, Niagara Falls Board of Education and the office of Sen. Antoine Thompson, began as a spin-off of an ongoing “Let’s Talk” program housed at the community center. Girls meet up weekly to talk about whatever happens to be on their minds, and guest speakers cover topics like job applications and health issues.

A similar conference was held last month for local teen boys, but this Friday’s event was all about female empowerment.

The keynote speaker, Detra Trueheart, was asked to return to this year’s conference to deliver another rousing speech to the impressionable young minds. Trueheart, a Buffalo native and former pageant queen, is a testament to her own message of girl power. She’s president of her own speaking and consulting firm, Trueheart Speaks, and Director for Corporate and Foundation Relations at Medaille College.

“Very powerful, very inspirational,” said Anzhane Gibbs, a 14-year-old from Niagara Falls High School. “I’m learning how to ... be who I am, be different in my own way.”

The conference’s foremost mission was to ensure that the young ladies of Niagara Falls remember to have love for themselves and confidence in their abilities.

“One of the biggest things is self-esteem, and teaching them how to love themselves first,” Fields-Chapman said, “because if you don’t love yourself first you can’t give that back to anyone.”

In the “Self-Esteem, Self-Worth ... I’m a Diamond,” workshop, where 30 or so high-schoolers gathered into an auditorium choosing seats next to their best friends, it seemed there was no shortage of confidence.

“It’s important to know who you are,” said Dawn McMillan, a minister at Elim Christian Fellowship in Buffalo and leader of the workshop.

Dressed in a sharp yellow jacket and sporting a choppy, professional hair style, the fast-talking McMillan let her confidence exude into the auditorium and tried to instill values of self-love and respect in the young women.

When she asked for volunteers, six hands shot up in the air and strutted their way to the front of the room. But as McMillan probed the girls to dig deeper into their personalities and define themselves in ways other than through boyfriends and physical appearance, she got mostly shrugged shoulders and defensive attitudes.

“If they learn how to love themselves and celebrate themselves, they can celebrate others,” McMillan said. “Then they don’t have to hide behind that defensiveness ... and the sarcasm.”

One young woman, given an ice-breaker challenge of comparing herself to the grape juice bottle she was holding, was asked what about her personality was flexible like the swish of the liquid juice.

“My mind, I guess, because I can put my mind to anything,” she replied.

McMillan felt positive that her talk touched some of the open ears in the room.

“It opened their eyes to things that they haven’t faced yet within themselves,” she said.

Sponsors of the conference need look no further than the event’s committee staff to see the product of the program’s workshops put in action. Several ladies on this year’s committee were students who participated in Let’s Talk the two previous years.

Crayauna Paige, a 15-year-old from Niagara Falls High School, was moved by the conference to get more involved in the community and break out of a (shyness) shell. She helped organize the event this year.

“It’s an opportunity to get myself out there,” she said. “I was more shy before but now I’m more outgoing.”

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