COLUMN BY RICK FORGIONE — I’ve developed a nemesis at ChrisFit Personal Training. Though I try not to use the word hate very often, I am pretty sure we despised each other from almost the moment we met.

Even before I got personally involved, I had heard a lot about my enemy’s nefarious reputation.

I’m talking about “The Prowler.”

OK so it’s a piece of equipment and not a person, but trust me, it exists solely to wreak havoc on unsuspecting trainees who think it might be fun to push a 43”-by-36” sled across a parking lot.

Though it’s bright red, like the color of Santa’s sleigh, the only thing this metal nightmare is delivering is pain and the gift of knowing that more times than not, it’s going to beat you.

As of last week, I am 0-4 against it. That’s right, four times I did laps on The Prowler outside of ChrisFit’s gym and each time it brought me to my knees and resulted in my breakfast coming up.

Our first encounter started well. My trainer Chris Tybor brought me outside and introduced me to The Prowler. I momentarily wondered why Chris had a smirk on his face. After all, how hard could it be — I just lean against the inserted vertical tubes and push this contraption about 15 yards, turn around and head back. Then I get a break.

“You want me to run while doing this, right?” I asked, probably sounding more cocky than I meant to.

“Go as fast as you can,” the evil trainer said, trying not to laugh.

So off I went, and 30 yards later, it wasn’t so bad. Sure I was winded but far from defeated. Four more rounds seemed well within my limits, even back then.

But then Chris came forward with two 15-pound weights and slipped them around the metal tubes to add resistance. I would now be pushing 75 pounds when factoring in the 45-pound frame.

So off I went at my top speed ... for about 15 feet. That’s when my run turned into a slow-motion lurch and I began cursing whoever invented weights with holes in the middle.

I managed to walk The Prowler back to the start before collapsing. There would be no Rounds 3 and 4. My new enemy had claimed its first lopsided victory. Sometime later, I found out The Prowler costs in the neighborhood of $300. I would’ve recommended ChrisFit save the money and just beat us in the legs with a sledgehammer.

The details of my second and third encounters with The Prowler are similar so I will just skip to the most recent beat down. That came last week, ironically a day before my three-month anniversary at ChrisFit. We were nearing the end of my 30-minute training session when Chris directed me to go outside.

Usually that means either pushing his truck, flipping a tire or taking on The Prowler. The look on his face told me what was coming.

This time I wasn’t afraid and thought I was prepared. The gauntlet was laid down. Me vs. my nemesis, which was now packing two 25-pound weights. As I gripped the tubes I actually whispered to The Prowler “not this time” — and I am pretty sure it rudely responded with a grunt.

So off I went and after lap one I was feeling good. Soon the name Forgione would be yelled throughout ChrisFit as the one who beat The Prowler so bad it was forced to retire in shame.

“This time I am going two laps without a break,” I said to Chris, definitely sounding more cocky than I should.

But the second run quickly humbled me and sapped my energy. As I bent over trying to catch my breath, I started having serious doubts I had another three laps in me, even with extended breaks in between.

With Chris’ encouragement, I eventually finished all five laps for the first time. I considered calling the battle a tie except minutes later I was back in the ChrisFit gym bathroom getting sick.

I really hate that Prowler.

And I’m hardly alone. Everyone I’ve talked to at the gym has assured me the exercise is “no joke” and it breaks down people in much better shape than me.

So why use it during workouts at all? Strangely, I don’t think that’s even a valid question. That’s because I trust Chris and respect that he’s pushing all of us to challenge ourselves, break down barriers and reach our true potential. Simply put, there’s a method to the madness.

A search of online reviews shows a consensus that The Prowler is one of the best tools to increase conditioning and develop strength in your legs, hips and arms. Or as Chris often explains to me, a workout that benefits every part of your body. It’s also used to train athletes from the National Football League and Mixed Martial Arts.

My difficulties aside, there are plenty of success stories against The Prowler among ChrisFit’s membership, including several clients in their sixties who take on the challenge.

Will I ever score a victory over The Prowler? Probably.

Will I ever appreciate our rivalry? Perhaps.

Will I one day look upon it with love? Not a chance.

But I know for a fact it’s making me stronger and that’s a victory in itself.

Meanwhile, Chris assures me a big part of surviving The Prowler is mental.

Maybe so, but try convincing my legs of that.

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To learn more about ChrisFit Personal Training, 2423 Hyde Park Blvd., call 818-0078 or visit www.chrisfit.net