NIAGARA FALLS —
Finally, it all makes sense. For years, I’ve been blaming my own lack of self control and good sense for my love of cheeseburgers and french fries.
It turns out I’m just another one of those unfortunate individuals who was exploited in my youth.
In case you haven’t heard, a consumer advocacy group is threatening to sue McDonalds if it fails to heed a call for removal of all toys from Happy Meals.
The Center for Science in the Public Interest maintains that plastic trinkets at the bottom of colorful Happy Meal boxes promote an unhealthy lust for greasy food among young people.
Others are apparently catching on to the advocacy group’s way of thinking.
Lawmakers in Silicon Valley county in California have already made it illegal for the fast food giant to pair burgers, fries and a drink with a toy.
To think, for years, I thought Happy Meals were all in good, tasty fun.
Looking back, I have a better understanding of the true source of my cravings for the golden arches: Star Wars toys placed in colorful, Star Wars adorned boxes next to carefully wrapped meat patties and bags of fried potatoes.
To hear the Center for Science in the Public Interest tell it, Ronald McDonald has been little more than a street pimp, hawking his addictive wears to the most vulnerable among us.
“McDonald’s is the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children,” Stephen Gardner, litigation director for the advocacy group said in a statement released by the organization. “McDonald's use of toys undercuts parental authority and exploits young children's developmental immaturity.”
And to think, the Hamburglar just sat back and watched the whole diabolical plot unfold.
For shame.
If only I had realized McDonalds was out to get me sooner. Maybe my waist line would be thanking me right now.
Sadly, I grew up in one of those generations where moms and dads took the kids to McDonalds for the occasional Happy Meal never suspecting the penchant for evil that lurked inside.
I never imagined a prize at the bottom of a box could do so much damage.
Who knew plastic bobbles could draw me into a life of ruin where shakes and sodas held sway over milk or a nice cup of juice.
It’s a near certainty that my development immaturity was exploited to the point where now I’m hopelessly developmentally immature.
Sad. So sad.
More frightening for me is to think about the historic implications of all of this.
If people of my age bracket have been led astray by the lure of plastic toys in Happy Meals, how ruined must our parents and grandparents be after laboring all those years to finish off the Cracker Jacks to get to the prize at the bottom of the box?
Regretful omission
A rather upset Gary Sankes e-mailed me this week to take me to task on my coverage of a groundbreaking ceremony at the Niagara Falls Air Reserve Station. It seems that in my report on the event, I failed to mention that Sankes’ company, Scrufari Construction of Niagara Falls, will be serving as the contractor for the $9.8 million construction of a new dining hall and activities center at the base. As Sankes pointed out it might have been nice for the local newspaper to mention the local contractor that secured the bid on the job. He’s right. So, to Scrufari’s President Sankes and his employees, I apologize for the oversight and wish them well on their project.
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