COLUMN: When life and sitcom lines blur

Night & Day

November 19, 2009

Anonymous The Niagara Gazette Thu Nov 19, 2009, 11:09 AM EST

By Phil Dzikiy

Last weekend, a friend of mine had to deal with a rather unfortunate incident.

As she pulled her car out of her garage, she heard a noise. A bad noise. You see, unbeknownst to her, my friend’s young daughter — the lovable scamp — had opened the car door. That car door was now just a door, not having anything to do with the car any longer.

I thought of this as a somewhat “sitcomy” moment — a situation that may have occurred on nearly any given American sitcom. But it didn’t go far enough. In a sitcom, the kid would have driven the car. Right into the living room. And, escaping the crash completely uninjured, she would have punctuated the event with a cute little exclamation, like “Whuh-oh, Spaghetti-Os!” or “Whoa, Mama!”

As life imitates art and vice versa, the lines of reality and sitcom-land are often blurred. How can we know where we stand?

Thankfully, fair readers, I have devised a scale. A scale that will tell you just how close you are to sitcom territory. Consult the chart. The higher the number, the more “sitcomy” it is.

1 — An uneventful work day; Deciding to go to bed early; Anything truly tragic.

2 — Taking the dog outside; Fretting over finances after a job setback; Checking a food’s expiration date.

3 — Talking to the mailman; Bad service at a restaurant; Forgetting where you parked your car.

4 — Kid breaks something expensive; Anything stemming from a sibling rivalry; Dealing with a bully.

5 — Kid breaks something extremely personal; Making an unreasonably expensive purchase to please a kid or spouse; An awkward, forced ex-spouse encounter.

6 — Wacky neighbors; Taking care of babies with no experience; Kid fakes an illness to get out of something.

7 — Fix-it attempt goes awry; Teenage party goes awry; Unexpected sexual tension!

8 — Kid wreaks havoc and breaks something extremely expensive; Once-homely friend gets hot makeover; Constant Freudian slips of the tongue.

9 - After a kiss everyone in the room says “Wooooo!”; After a hug everyone says “Awwww”; Two people who can’t stand each other are trapped together somewhere.

10 - The worst athlete on the team somehow gets a chance to shine in a clutch moment and comes through; Relatively unattractive, overweight man has incredibly attractive wife; A family with a wisecracking live-in butler.

Text Only | Photo Reprints

Night & Day

VIDEO: Penguin Love at the Aquarium of Niagara
Step inside the penguin exhibit to get a preview of the romantic event!

February 8, 2012 1 Photo 1 Video
10 most romantic hotels in the U.S.
Valentine’s Day will be here soon, and a romantic getaway may be just what the heart needs. TripAdvisor has released its list of the 10 most romantic hotels in the country, based on travelers’ reviews about the beautiful scenery, friendly staffs and romantic amenities like hot tubs and fireplaces.

February 9, 2012 1 Photo
Wet and wild love stories at the Aquarium focus of new event
Her name is Pi and while she’s just a teenager, she's already divorced from Tux. Not to worry: She found a new, younger partner named Chile, who is 13 years her junior.

February 3, 2012 1 Photo
Castellani goes back to nature with Betsy Potter
For artist Betsy Potter, a native Western New Yorker, the survival of the natural world is paramount.

February 2, 2012 1 Photo
Tick ... tick ... tick ... for one ‘Valiant’ hour
The clock is ticking for the Theatre in the Mist production company.
As rehearsals unfold for “The Valiant,” opening Friday at Stella Niagara in Lewiston, the director keeps one eye on her cast and the other on her watch.

February 2, 2012 1 Photo
NACC seeks sponsors for black history events
Sponsors are being sought for a local Black History Month performance celebrating contributions African-Americans have made to the nation.

February 2, 2012
Open auditions for Artpark’s upcoming Broadway musical
Auditions for the upcoming Artpark production of “Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella” will be held from 3-7 p.m. Feb. 11 and 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Feb. 12 at the University at Buffalo Center for the Arts studios.

February 2, 2012
A search for Miss Niagara! Contest returns Saturday — with special guest!
Here she comes — Miss Niagara. And Miss New York as well!
Miss Niagara contest organizers received news this week that Miss New York, the recent second runner up in the recent Miss American pageant, has agreed to perform at a Miss Niagara pageant being held at 7:30 p.m. Saturday in Lockport.

January 25, 2012 2 Photos
Local sounds focus of Broadway Joe’s show
On Saturday, Broadway Joe’s will be hosting a night of local sounds as Cowboys of Scotland, Canary Girls, and Jupiter Jefferson will perform in an all-original, all-Buffalo night of alternative music.

January 25, 2012 1 Photo
Kenan hosting inaugural Niagara Wine and Beer Fest
The Kenan Center in Lockport presents the first-ever Niagara Wine and Beer Fest from 5-9 p.m. Saturday at the Kenan Center Arena, 195 Beattie Ave. Proceeds from the event will benefit the Kenan Center and its diverse arts, education, and recreation programs.

January 25, 2012 1 Photo
More Night & Day Headlines

Night & Day

Search Results

COLUMN: When life and sitcom lines blur

Site Map

Contact Us