• When relocating the primary residence, make certain it is mutually convenient.
• If children are involved on either side, bring them into discussions on how the blended household will function.
• If seemingly irresolvable disputes arise between adults and/or children, don’t hesitate to find a professional arbitrator acceptable to all parties.
• Know each other’s financial realities, i.e., income and assets.
• Agree before tying the knot who will pay for what, especially big-ticket items, such as new furniture, appliances, vehicles, the mortgage or rent.
• Agree before marrying whether assets and income will be stirred in the same pot or held separately.
• Decide if you will establish separate or joint checking and savings accounts?
• Determine how often you will socialize with the in-laws and whether they can be entertained together.
• Figure out if you have friends in common or whether you will need to entertain certain people separately.
• Be honest about whether your social styles are similar or if there are there serious differences, such as one being more formal than the other, and devise mutually agreeable forms of home entertainment.
• Be flexible about each other’s favorite things: Make room on the shelf for her sports trophies as well as his ceramics.
• Pick one night a week when each person does his/her own thing. If older children will live with you, allow them the same option.
Sources: Amy Shey Jacobs of The Knot Inc., www.theknot.com, www.thenest.com.
Weddings
August 1, 2006
RELATIONSHIPS: Twelve keys to a successful marriage merge
How to survive being a newlywed
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RELATIONSHIPS: The marriage merge
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